Creating an aura of calmness: Women and Stress Management

Even after putting her best in her family, Radha’s husband was shouting at her again, her children were again complaining about the food, her mother-in-law about her joint pains and even when she had a million issues on her mind, the one bothering her most was her board presentation scheduled tomorrow in office.
Tired, exhausted and challenged she smiled remembering her mother’s words–

‘They say it’s difficult to be a woman! You need to think like a man, act like a lady, and look like a girl and work like a horse.’

From an amoeba to higher species four aspects are common-Nutrition, Reproduction, Excretion and the fourth one is Stress. Working professional or a home maker, a woman’s plate is always full with multiple projects and a huge list of things to do. Cooking, washing, cleaning, picking & dropping kids, homework, spouse attention, extended family, social obligations, and dependency on maids, over demanding workplace, sometimes obnoxious co-workers, and long commuting hours are facets that bother every woman today.

All these activities and stressing situations are disturbing. The human mind is not conditioned to handle so much. The result is emotional disturbance- anxiety, energy drain and undue stress.

We need to understand that we have the power to be happy, stress free, peaceful and only we can help ourselves. Hence it’s important to take charge of situations causing stress. We should try to go easy on ourselves and accept the following:

We are not Durga or an Octopus with multiple hands: We need to understand our limitations and should not stretch ourselves. We can always ask for help from others. Sometimes people around us are just unaware about our needs. We should ask our family, friends, co-workers for help bluntly, rather expecting them to read our mind.

Don’t try to control the uncontrollable:  We should not get tense unnecessarily when something happens unplanned and hampers your schedule. We need to accept facts -we can’t change the weather, situations, how others behave. The best way is to relax and accept situations and re-plan your day.

Don’t be a perfectionist: Expecting perfection from others adds on to our stress.  Not everyone can be organised like you. Your maid might not be able keep your home spotless, your daughter’s hand writing could be as poor as the girl you hated in your class, and your co-worker might not be good in MS Excel. A perfectionist cannot delegate work. Be easy on yourself and on others. Most importantly don’t nag people about issues; it can make them feel suffocated.

Self-compassion: Be compassionate with yourself too. Don’t feel pressure to perform every time. Don’t try to put extra efforts beyond your limit to please others. Give some room to others to make mistakes- after all people learn from them.

Stay on schedule: An organised approach to handle tasks always gives a pleasure of accomplishment and it’s very important to design a balanced routine and stick to it. A ‘Me Time’ is very important when you budget your day.

Simplicity reduces stress:  Keeping less stuff helps us to manage and organise things better. Don’t buy or store things you don’t need.

Take care of your health: Our mind, body and soul are inseparable. Taking care of your health, practicing yoga, and exercising, eating a healthy diet is important to fuel better emotional well-being.

Tears are not sign write papers of weakness! Don’t feel guilty: Yeah! Shedding tears does not make you weak.  Don’t feel miserable for being sensitive. Express yourself openly!

Be assertive in communication style: We can always put across our points assertively without sounding irritated, frustrated or angry. It’s important to put your thoughts and difference of opinion constructively.